I've rented a room in a boarding house, in a nowhere section of Burien. It takes a while to know for sure, but it seems like a decent place (for a boarding house).
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| (not actually where I'm living) |
I'll give you the grand tour, though — right now, in words:
It's a house built in the 1930s or '40s, I'd guess, and it hasn't been well cared for. Last painted circa 1990.
The doorbell doesn't work, and some of the doors don't latch.
All the walls and some of the window sills have holes.
The floors are crooked, so it's a walk uphill across the kitchen.
The steps are wooden, weak, wobbly, and ought to be replaced.
The carpet is fluorescent green, with lots of stains.
Everything is stained — doors, floors, walls, ceilings, even the windows — and some of the stains have stains.
Many of the outlets don't work, so my room is powered mostly by an extension cord from the kitchen.
On the bright side, there's a kitchen! Also, I've seen no bedbugs, cockroaches, mice, or discarded needles (so far).
And that's my new place — one small room in that weird old house you were told to stay away from when you were a kid trick-or-treating.
To pay the rent at a nicer place, I'd have to work triple the hours at some crappy job I don't yet have. I hate working that hard, so except for some happy years when I had a wife with higher standards, places like this are where I've lived my life.
You don't want to see it, though, and you don't want to meet my flatmates. Heck, *I* didn't want to meet my flatmates. There is nothing about where I'm living that wouldn't give you nightmares, so there will be no housewarming party, and no visitors.
The address is in the sidebar, in case anyone wants to send a letter or post card. Please, though, don't drop by.
You are, however, very invited to join me for breakfast at Little Pat's Place, any Saturday morning. Details are in the sidebar, under the headline, "Dine with Douggles."
If you ever stay at a boarding house, by the way, or anywhere there are more residents than toilets, I recommend getting one of these, or something like it. If you don't have one, get one, before you need one.