Monday, September 5, 2022
People keep asking me whether I'm going to Ken Butz's memorial service, so let me say this about that.
Mr Butz was a wise and good man, and made the world a better place by being here, which is all anyone can reasonably hope to accomplish. He had a long and happy marriage, raised a bunch of kids who (to the best of my knowledge) became decent people, and he took care of his wife after she forgot who he was. He had good advice for me sometimes, though I usually didn't take it, and I never knew him to be an ass in any way. He was a genuine good guy, and almost "Uncle Ken" to me. It sucks that he's dead.
But no, I'm not going to his memorial service, or anyone else's. It's a rule. Pretty sure I've already explained this, but let me explain it again:
Never once have I had a good time at a funeral, memorial, or cremation. Memorial services don't help me, and my presence wouldn't help anyone else. I live my life privately, and I'll do my grieving privately.
I haven't attended a memorial service since the 1980s. They're abhorrent to me. I'll pay my respects my way, which is not that way.
There wasn't a memorial service for my wife when she died, which was our joint decision. When I die, I don't want a memorial service, and if you hold one for me anyway, I won't be there. Same as I don't attend parties, same as I don't do Christmas, I simply don't attend big grieving get-togethers.
Holler if you have any questions. Thanks.